Also, being raised in the South, I was taught that you said "Yes/No, Ma'am", "Yes/No, Sir", and addressed an adult by the appropriate title of "Mr." or "Mrs./Ms." even if you were allowed to follow that title with the person's first name. This lesson was not only enforced by my parents but also by both sets of extended family including grandparents, uncles, and aunts. It was also occasionally enforced with a spanking should you be disrespectful. To this day, I remain uncomfortable-to a certain extent-addressing my "elders", teachers, and other people who might be deserving of such title simply by their first name. So what would one do in a social situation with someone who identifies as transgender and prefers not to be addressed by a gender-specific title? Are there gender-neutral titles to go along with the gender-neutral pronouns?
"By using the mass media, the Internet, and our growing network of allies and sympathizers to make the general public aware of the frequency of intersexuality and of the intense suffering that that medical treatment has caused, we seek to create an environment in which many parents of intersex children will have already heard about the intersex movement when their child is born. Such informed parents we hope will be better able to resist medical pressure for unnecessary genital surgery and secrecy and to find their way to a peer-support group and counseling rather than to a surgical theater." (Hermaphrodites with Attitude, pg. 40)Cheryl Chase's hope for a support group for parents of intersexual children is, as we have read, quite frankly something that is clearly needed on not just a local or national scale, but a global one. Could such intersex education be offered in conjunction with the Trans Ally Training that Miami offers? Also, is such training easily accessible to those outside of the collegiate community?And finally, I had the great privilege to attend the "No Hate on My Campus" rally in Oxford at the end of April and was greatly moved by the show of strength and support for the GLBTQ community at Miami. It was truly, truly amazing! I'm curious as to if there has been continued work with the efforts that were so well represented that day and what have been the results of such hard work.
Brandy, I really liked your question and thoughts on addressing people with respect. When I was growing up I was told that the term Ms. had come out of the women’s movement. That it was meant to be a way to not impose the expectation of marriage on every woman. This reminds me of that, and reveals how our vocabulary can be a clue to our culture’s values and expectations. The linguistic portion of our society is very intriguing to me, how people use terms as forms of oppression and then the group of people who were being objectified adopt that term to refer to themselves. For example learning that the word Queer is now being used by younger people as a way to identify themselves instead of being used by another group to label and belittle. When reviewing Demere’s handout on being a trans ally she includes two ways to make sure that our terms are respectful:
ReplyDelete“Use pronouns as requested…use names as requested.”
In our culture our names are so important to us. When someone calls us by the wrong name or mispronounces our name we are always sure to correct them. Some people get more offended than others, but the point is we place a lot of esteem and pride in what we are called. Our names reflect our identity and who we are. For someone who is an identity that is not normally accepted and who has to explain who they are constantly I can see how much more hurtful the unintentional he or she can be. Although it still feels unnatural to me to not assume pronouns with people I do value the right of people to self identify and want to respect their choices.