Like the hilarious doctor says, a mental mind fuck can be a great thing. Think about it. You can allow your mind the freedom of an imaginary encounter with anyone you choose without any of the realistic consequences. Imagination can be exhilarating, a lucid dream in the daytime. But a mind fuck can be more than one thing. While it is a great way of escapism for some, for others it's just another way of suffering the real life torment and anguish that plagues them beyond their daily existence and into the chaos of their mind space.
"Tell me, though," I added, and shifted my shoulders like Aunt Dot leaning into a joke, "if people really believed that rape made lesbians, and brutal fathers made dykes, wouldn't they be more eager to do something about it?" -Dorothy Allison (46)
As Allison begins to pose in Two or Three Things I Know for Sure , if it were any one thing that lead to the victimization of women and children, don't you think more people would be raring to get down and dirty and do something to really make a change for those affected? While I don't agree that it's violence or choice that makes someone gay, I think it's clearly evident that the brutalities that those who endure rape and abuse will affect them physically and emotionally for the rest of their lives. For those like Allison, who were able to stand up to their abusers and eventually come to terms, after a fashion, with what happened to them, it is truly amazing to see how bravely and boldly they can speak out against the atrocities they suffered. Allison's blunt honesty is quite frankly refreshing and truly inspiring.
But what about the victims who don't have a voice? Crenshaw, quoting Diana Campos states in "Mapping the Margins" that "It is unfair to impose more stress on victims by placing them in the position of having to demonstrate their proficiency in English in order to receive services that are readily available to other battered women". Women of color, women who are poor, and children are quite often at a disadvantage when seeking help out of situations of abuse because they are simply not recognized as being worthy of assistance. They don't fit into a certain group that some are trying to help. It's almost as if these people are outside of the organizations comfort boundaries, just because English isn't their primary language, and they wind up losing what little courage they may have found for reaching out for help in the first place. And children...while I think so many kids now days need much more discipline than they are receiving, I also believe that they shouldn't be dismissed out of some archaic "Children should be seen and not heard" non-sense, either. I've heard far too many stories of kids being dismissed even by their own parents who don't want to see or hear that their spouse or family member is terrifying their offspring because it's just too much for them to cope with. Too many times I think we ignore such children, for a multitude of reasons, which can lead to more abuse and possibly even death, be it by their abuser or by suicide-an action that some feel is their only way out.
While by no means do I consider such measures an easy task, I believe that a difference in so many lives could be made if only we opened our minds and realized that with each individual comes a unique set of needs and we must make every effort to provide for them. If you don't speak the language needed for someone seeking help, find someone who does and work together to help that person who's come to you. Don't be judgmental or flippant when listening to a person's ordeal-don't be just another player in the terror of their mental mind fuck. Be they child or adult, no matter their race or class, if you just try to help, chances are you might be making a major difference in their lives for the better. And you just might make a difference in your own at the same time.
Video: The Dark I Know Well from the musical Spring Awakening
Wow! Brandy you said a mouth full. I too believe that it isn't the violence that makes someone gay, but the experience and whoever the perpetrator is that causes the victim to subconsciously take a stand that "this will never happen to me again". Whether they decide to not trust men or women if the abuser is a woman figure. That when making a decision about relationships causes them to revert back to the experience and whatever they may make a choice to not have to endure that type of pain and agony again. Some victims make the decision to never involve themselves in a committed relationship at all.
ReplyDeleteI was greatly appalled when I read in Crenshaw's article "Mapping the Margins", about the victim's advocate that denied the woman for being admitted into a safe house for battered women because her primary language was Spanish. As a victim's advocate myself I know that there are resources that a shelter can use to provide an interpreter to assist in the intake process, filling out paperwork, developing a safety plan, and developing a case management plan. I myself have used a child of one of the victims as a source to communicate with a victim to ensure that she/he understood what was being and the process that was taking place. No one should have to remain unsafe, and unaware of what their rights, and what the process is for ensuring their safety.
http://www.dcrcc.org/resources/category/spanish_speaking_services/C104
Spanish Services - AIDS Services
Spanish Services - Child Care
Spanish Services - Domestic Violence
Spanish Services - Education Services
Spanish Services - Housing Assistance
Spanish Services - Legal Assistance
Spanish Services - Medical & Mental Health Clinics
There is even a service that provides 24 hr assistance to Spanish speaking interpreters in Butler County. There is always something that can be done to assist and help these women get out of there unsafe environments.